Relationship Dating

Abusive Relationships: The Warning Signs

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Abusive relationships are a reality in today's world. We have all heard of the various studies' results: 1 in 3 women are abused during their lifetime; men's ratio is closer to 1 in 7.

Below are the warning signs of an abusive relationship, as well as personal indicators that your partner may be heading toward the direction of becoming abusive.

1) Jealousy and Possessiveness.
Your partner develops the feeling that they own you; you are their possession. If you hang out with other people or show attention to others, they get extremely jealous and confrontational. This plays a major role in the typical abusive relationship.

"You can't talk to her anymore. ...I don't care how long you have been friends. If you talk to her again, we're over!"

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2) Anger
Your partner gets angry often without warrant. They have even threatened you subtly or blatantly.

Anger is a commonplace in most abusive situations.

"Who is this girl on your caller ID? Don't play stupid with me. I'll ruin your life if I catch you messing around behind my back!"

3) Intimidation
Intimidation can be subtle but still powerful and result in physical or mental abuse. Simple actions such as a lengthy stare can be utilized to cause intimidation.

The more advanced levels of intimidation include physical actions (such as grabbing, pushing, cornering, standing over your partner, shouting, or "getting in your face.") Verbal expression can also be used for intimidation purposes.

"If I ever catch you lying to me about that guy, someone is going to get hurt...really bad."

4) Destructiveness
During arguments (even small ones), your partner always ends up throwing something, punching a wall or door, or knocking something over.

"I can't believe you!" (*flips table over*)

5) Insecurity
Your partner grooms and manipulates you into feeling new insecurities about yourself - this is a clear form of mental abuse and emotional abuse.

"I am the only person who would ever stay with you. Passing me by would be the dumbest move ever!"

angry girl, angry woman, unhappy, fighter girl, girl fight 6) Accusations
You find yourself the target of frequent unjustified accusations. By merely talking or hugging someone, you are accused of flirting or even cheating. In an abusive relationship suspicion runs high and accusations fly.

"I saw you wave at her and talk to her at lunch. Why don't you just fess up and tell me what is really going on between you two."

7) Status
Your partner uses their status against yours in order to make you feel belittled or insignificant in comparison to them.This is a form of emotional abuse and mental abuse.

"So many guys want to be with me. You're lucky I picked you to be with because everyone told me I was too good for you."

8) Bribery
Many people (usually males) resort to bribery to get what they want. Presents are bought with the expectation of sex in return. Your partner may even try to pressure you into doing something by inflicting feelings of guilt on you.

"I bought you that really nice (and expensive!) necklace and you can't even do this for me in return?"

rules 9) Control
If your partner wishes to have absolute control over you, it can lead to an abusive relationship (and if nothing else, an abuse of your freedom).

They may use variations of the previously mentioned tactics or even other methods.

Nevertheless, their main goal is to make you feel absolutely weak, submissive, and helpless. They aim to have you believe that you cannot survive without them, nor can you get help from anyone but them.

"You're so blessed to have me. If you were on your own, I guarantee that you would be out on the streets by now."

10) Domination
If your partner rules the relationship with an iron fist and refuses to compromise with your requests or needs, the relationship is simply one-sided. If you are in a one-sided relationship, you will keep giving but will hardly ever get anything back in return except resentment - leading to mental abuse.

"No, we aren't going there. Why? Because I don't want to go, thatís why. You're opinion doesn't matter. Case closed."

All of the previously mentioned characteristics are warning signs of an abusive relationship. Keep your eyes and ears open for them.

help, help me, keyboard, problems, assistant If you are experiencing one or more of the items above, seek to resolve the issue immediately or expect the relationship to get worse and eventually come to an end.

Warning signs of an abusive relationship should not be ignored - only 33% of those whom are in abusive relationships mentioned anything about it to others...Don't be passive; take action!

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