Meeting The Parents - Revisited

In many ways this is a second hurdle in a new relationship that has to be passed. As you have already managed to start relationship dating with their child, you are already in on the ground floor. Similarly your partner should have already been quizzed all about you so it should come as no surprise that they may already have follow up questions about stuff you already said to your significant other.

The meeting of the parents is similar to the "dating conversation" article that it is a good idea to listen to what the parents have to say and to ask follow up questions in relation to it, even if what they are talking about is quite dull or not your thing.

More importantly you will be being asked questions that even indirectly will be them trying to determine if you are the sort of person you want dating their offspring. You will want to avoid any references to drunken misbehavior, breaking the law, promiscuous behavior or that you condone such behavior. You naturally want to steer well clear of any possible indication that you and your partner are physically intimate, just do your best to avoid the topic as a whole.

They will also be looking for clues that your new relationship is based on mutual respect and is not in any way casual or just a fling. It is also a good idea to convey to your partners parents that your life has some sort of direction and that you have a bit of ambition. If you are at college then you naturally have a few good ideas what you would want to do afterwards, right?

Wanting to spend time flipping burgers might not be considered ambitious enough unless you are looking to make assistant manager nice and quick. As with dating conversation you do not want to be too non-mainstream or opinionated, however, you similarly don't want to make yourself so totally mainstream that they find you boring.

There is also the dreaded question "what are your intentions with my daughter?" where you must be able to smoothly indicate that you have the highest respect for her, would like nothing more than to make her happy, to provide for her and work hard to keep her in the manner to which she has become accustomed.

As odd as it sounds this is not an ideal time to proclaim your love or that you want to get married and have a whole tribe of kids for which you already have names picked out for. If the relationship is in a relatively early stage then announcing big long term plans like that may just creep them out. At an early stage then they are more looking for hope and reassurance rather than specifics.

In summary you want to convey a responsible, respectful and ambitious image to your potential in laws. If you make the right first impression they will become the biggest supporters of your new relationship with their offspring so it is worth putting in the effort.

An article composed by Richard Ford