Relationship Dating

Personal Time In Relationship Dating

And Why You Need It!

Why do you need personal time and space in relationship dating?

In a relationship it is important to understand and appreciate that as much as you enjoy spending time with "your other half", there is a true importance and value to having personal time and spending time apart from each other.

Think about it this way, chances are even in the most similar of couples you will not have all the same hobbies and interests and of the interests you do not share - there will be some interests that your other half just cannot get into.

Short of simply giving up your interests that you do not share with each other, both of you need time during which you can indulge these interests (at least in moderation).

The benefit of having personal time and even outings not as a couple are many: When you are not together 24/7, you are more likely to have something to talk about - an event that happened while you were out horse riding with your friends, a story that one of your buddies told you and you knew she would appreciate.

Similarly if she gets a chance to go window shopping with her friends or grabbing a latte with the girls she will have plenty of exciting news and anecdotes which will be new to her partner. Look at it this way, if you are always going everywhere as a couple then you will always be seeing and hearing the same things and therefore there will be nothing surprising or new that you can tell each other based on your outings together.

personal time

As the saying goes "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and "if you love something set it free". It is an all too easy trap to fall into thinking that spending every waking moment together (and trying to attend to the every need of your partner) is the key to a successful relationship. Sadly nothing could be further from the truth; life without any personal time can simply lead to the other person feeling trapped or suffocated in the relationship. On top of this, the person making all this effort can end up feeling resentful as they feel they are putting all this effort into the success of the relationship and it does not seem to be appreciated.

There are even cases all too often that you hear about of people neglecting or ignoring their friends both near and far (letter, phone, email, or internet chat) in order to divert all their energy to spending time with their other halves and even discourage their partners to have contact with their friends too. When the relationship eventually breaks down then the person making all the effort has alienated the people they would normally turn to after a breakup.

Also they will have virtually guaranteed that there would be no chance of getting back together as the suffocated partner will gorge themselves on personal time that they had been deprived of in the relationship and this will reassure them that the breakup was a good idea and would have no desire to return to "captivity".

In summary, personal time in a relationship is essential to its survival. To go without it or to deprive someone of it is to welcome disaster with open arms.

-Richard Ford


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